September 22, 2026

Time to get real. 

One of the ‘realest’ things about me is that, on a personal level, I’ve never been afraid to share my struggles. I have always wanted my friends, my kids, my fellow mothers to know that none of us are perfect, and because of that desire, It’s always been very easy for me to share my failures. Because, my failures don’t define me. 

But, when it came to this blog, I didn’t want to put the same thing into print. I was so absolutely sure that God put it on my heart to write and to share the things He was doing in my life, and I still am. However, I always felt like my writing should glorify God, and be absolutely positive in nature. Life happened in a way that I had a hard time being positive all the time. And, I wanted to be. I wanted to be ‘ok’ with the things that had happened to me, and I just wasn’t. I had forgiven, I had moved on, but I couldn’t say that I was okay with it. I worried that my frustration would show in my writing. I was terrified that in some way my words would not be glorifying to God, and that was all I really ever wanted. In fact, I’ve struggled to write for well over a year because I’ve tried desperately to be the same cheerleader for the Lord that I was on day one of writing this blog. Eventually, I took a break from writing. But, I’ve been miserable. I knew I was failing to do the one thing I was sure the Lord had asked me to do. It became hard to even study His Word, because in its perfect way, it shed light on my failings. 

I can’t be God’s cheery little cheerleader anymore, because, the truth is, that’s not who I am anymore. I want desperately to be bold and to stand and tell everyone that everything will be alright, but the truth is, I can’t do that. Living for the Lord can be tough. Taking a stand for truth can cost you more than you ever thought it could. There have been dark days when I’ve been completely misunderstood by people who I thought were my closest friends. Accusations have come at me that blew my mind. People who thought they knew my intentions, and were completely wrong have said things that cut to the bone.

There have been days that I’ve clung to my Lord and whispered “Why?” a thousand times. Days when I have sat at a keyboard and felt compelled to write, but have been incapable of posting the thoughts that were going through my mind.

We all read the verses that talk about suffering for Christ, and we think we know how we will respond, but until your world is shaken to the core, you can’t possibly know the answer to that question. We think that the attacks from the evil one will come in predictable ways, and we prepare ourselves for them. But the truth is that Satan is subtle and quiet, and never comes at you with outright lies, that would be far too easy to spot. It’s the half-truths, the twisted words, and sneaky attacks that he uses. It’s the sneaky thoughts that come into every word questioning my own intentions.

Today, as I sat again and prayed for clarity, for an answer to feeling compelled to write, but struggling with a topic, the thought of total honesty pressed quietly into my mind. Just share your struggles. And the truth is, that while walking with God is always the best path, the one with the most peace, and the one that we will always be glad we chose in the end… it’s not easy. And I don’t think it’s supposed to be. When we encourage people to follow Christ, to surrender everything to Him, we talk about how great it is, and there are those moments when my soul is so full that I feel as though I might burst because this sinful human body doesn’t feel meant to contain the fullness of the joy of being with Him, there are also moments when the pain of living in a broken world is real. There are times when the pain seeing a loved one chose a path that is out of line with God’s Word feels crushing. There are times when seeing a friend in pain brings suffering as we struggle to pray for them. Our friends fail us, our family leaves us, and yet we soldier on because we have the One who suffered far more than we could ever suffer holding us in His hand.

The same question that humans have been asking for millenia, have haunted me: “Why does God allow bad things to happen to good people?” The answer in truth is both twofold. 1. No one is good. We all deserve hell for falling short of God, and in reality to receive anything other than that is a blessing. 2. We live in a sinful world, a world where we are allowed to choose our path be in good or evil. And there’s no way we can have total autonomy, total choice in our lives, without the ability to choose a path different than the perfect one. Why doesn’t God just protect the good people, then? Because, by refusing to allow sin to affect some, He is refusing to allow others to have freewill. There are a million questions that can come through when you go down that rabbit hole. Sickness, accidents, and a myriad of other things that aren’t the product of freewill. Sin… Sin is the answer to all of it, this world is broken. The world pre-sin didn’t even have thorns… animals didn’t eat other animals… sin brought a brokenness into the world that is beyond our capability to understand. It’s hard to wrap your mind around, even harder to accept when an seemingly innocent person is sick or dying. It doesn’t reflect a failure on the part of the person or their family, just the fact that the world is not perfect. 

And yet, God is still good. 

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28.

We modern day Christians like to make this feel like everything will work out, that we can call down blessings on ourselves by claiming this verse. But… what if…

What if the good that comes from your suffering happens to someone else. What if your pain never brings something tangible to you, but God works it to allow you to help some other pilgrim along the way? 

What if God had me to start writing this joy filled blog, knowing that I would experience something that would change my thinking, deepen my faith, and divert the purpose to one that acknowledges that this pilgrim’s journey has included some valleys that I never saw coming.

Because there have been valleys. They’ve been dark and foreboding, and there have been times that I have only made it through by the Lord himself holding on to me, and shining just enough light for me to see the next place to set down my foot. 

But, oh, there have also been meadows of joy where I’ve reveled in His love, hilltops that allowed me to get just a glimpse of hope ahead, and occasionally the clouds have parted and the full shine of the heavens have warmed my soul with a sense of that final destination that will be mine sometime in the future. When I’ve thought about the day when I will see my Jesus face to face and thank Him for everything He’s done for me. That day when everything will make perfect sense, and He will dry my tears.

Until that day, I just want to be the servant He would have me be. If that means sharing my struggles as well and the days of victory that come straight from God, so be it. 

I’ve allowed the evil one to whisper inadequacies in my ears long enough. I’ve let him silence my praise, my testimonies and my song for far too long.  

I have no idea what the future will look like, for me, or for this blog, but I know that it’s time to pick up my cross and get back at it. 

You see, for the first time in a long time, I’m being able to turn my thoughts from all of the worrisome possibilities, back to focusing on Him. But, this time, I know tough times will come. I know that the struggles ahead are real and will test my faith. I’ve also learned that He truly will never leave us. He’s always right there for us to lean on, and He’s strong enough to carry our burdens regardless of how unbearable it might feel to us. Instead of shrinking back in fear, we have to lean in and trust in His protection of our soul. 

Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.  Romans 5:3-5 esv

Maybe real faith isn’t about trusting the Lord to do the things we want, or even provide the things we need. Maybe real faith is in the understanding that it’s not about us. That He has a plan that is so far beyond what we can fathom that we shouldn’t even try to understand.

There was a moment that I got it. A few years ago, I felt led to have a ladies conference. I worked very hard in some ways and not hard at all in others. Speakers fell into place with an ease I couldn’t fathom. Connections were made via phone call with women I’d never met in person. The hand of the Lord was on it in a visible way all the way through. And when it came to the day of, I sat and watched in all unfold. Women worshipping together, and in that moment I felt like the smallest person in the universe. He took over that day in a way that I can’t even begin to explain and I sat in awe of what He can do when we are simply obedient.

I’ve come to the understanding that I am a simple servant. One meant to follow my God in whatever direction He leads or allows. There will be times of incredible hardship, and there will be times in which glory itself seems to comes down. I don’t get to choose. None of us do. We are privileged to understand that He will take whatever this life throws at us and use it to mold us to be ever more like His Son.

And that is enough.

I’m looking forward to moving forward together on this journey… sharing my struggles and my victories through Christ, and hopefully hearing from some of you about your journey, as well.

Lisa