Snared…
The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe. Proverbs 29:25
When I was a young, I spent a great deal of time riding dirtbikes. I had different pathways through my little neighborhood of family homes that I rode with wild abandon, often trying to go as fast as possible. I was confident in the paths because I was familiar with them, riding them on a daily basis. On one particular Friday evening my parents were preparing for an event in our yard that would be happening the next day. I had finally completed all of my duties helping them and was free to get some riding time in. By this time it was close to sunset and that lovely time of day that the weather is perfect, but visibility is waning. I took off on my little dirtbike hoping to get several rounds in before I couldn’t see. During my ride, my parents, unbeknownst to me, set up the volleyball net for the gathering the next day. Unfortunately, it spanned my “track” and was all but invisible in the evening dimness. I rounded the corner and gunned it racing my imaginary competition toward the finish line. Imagine my shock, when I was stopped mid-air by an obstacle I never saw coming. I was ripped from my seat and sat down hard on the grass as my dirtbike went on without me. Fortunately my helmet protected my face, and other than my pride, I was completely uninjured. However, I never forgot that experience, and thought about it every time I drove through that portion of our yard.
Recently, I was again knocked to the ground by an experience that I never saw coming.
I’ve spoken often on this platform about my experience in 2020, with the Lord calling me to a deeper relationship with Him. I spent time daily in the Word and in prayer, and it was one of the best times of my life. It was a period of growth and spiritual honesty that I had never experienced before. My eyes were opened to the truth of God’s desire for our lives, He wants us to walk with Him. It cemented the truth of His desire for our lives. He wants to have a people who desire Him as much as He does them. The sacrifice He gave to win our freedom from sin was an example of just how far He is willing to go to secure our opportunity for a relationship with Him. My response to that experience was understandable.
Come and hear, all you who fear God, and I will tell what he has done for my soul. Psalm 66:16 ESV
I wanted to talk about the Lord almost constantly. My faith had been renewed and the joy of my salvation was returned. I was the happiest I’d been in years, and I wanted those I loved the most to understand what I was feeling so that perhaps they would experience revival in their lives. I understood deeply the many many ways I had failed the Lord, and the fact that I continued to do it daily, but, for the first time, I realized that He knew that and loved me just as deeply regardless of my failures.
For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. Galatians 5:13
Unfortunately, my fervor for the Lord was misinterpreted by some, who mistook an awe of what God had done in my life for pride in self. I had been so overwhelmed with love for Jesus and the Father that it overflowed into most conversations. Suddenly, I wanted to “do” for the Lord: Bible Studies, praying with friends, even a ladies’ conference. And, it was never that I thought that I could do things better, I just couldn’t seem to do enough for this great God who had given me such an incredible gift of revival in my soul. I was happy to do anything and constantly looking for more. It wasn’t until much later that I realized I had been offending some of my friends.
I was horrified at the thought. I had wanted them to realize the joy that came from walking closely with the Lord. I hadn’t felt any judgement toward them, because I have no right to judge anyone, I know what a sinner I am. The Lord has allowed me to realize that God, too, knows what a sinner I am, and yet He still desires a close relationship with Him, one that allows Him to sanctify and change me, molding me into becoming more Christlike little by little.
As a result, I have been caught in a snare of fear and hyper-analyzing everything that I write or say. I would never want to become a stumbling block for others in their walk with God. In 2021 and 2022, I was so sure that writing this blog and sharing what I was learning in my studies was something the Lord had for me, and I was fearless, sharing the changes He was making in my own life. But after conversations with a few people who shared their opinions with me, I have found myself at war with a monstrous fear that constantly undermines my faith and confidence in what I feel like the Lord has called me to do. As you might expect, this has caused a schizm in my own relationship with the Lord.
Moving forward, I have had to come to the conclusion that my relationship with and the Lord is by far the most important thing I have in my world. Obedience to Him is paramount. We find in the scripture a few important facts:
Discipleship is not easy.
Matthew 14 reminds us: 26 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. 27 Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple. 28 For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it?There will be trials John 16:33 These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.
There are positive results if we hold fast through trials and tribulations
James 1:2 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, 3 for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.
Romans 5:3 Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance. 4. and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5. and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has be been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
In all honesty, I still have a long way to go, but I am making progress. I have determined that if Christ can die for me, I can put as much effort as possible into living for Him. We’ve been called to be ambassadors for Christ, to show His love to others, both our brothers and sisters in Christ and those outside of a relationship with Him.
We aren’t given the privilege of knowing where our path will lead when following the Lord, many have suffered far worse than anything I’ll likely be subjected to. The question is, Is He Worth it? And the answer is always an overwhelming YES. If I can keep that in mind, I can stand strong in the face of whatever this world offers.
The last stanza of the popular song “In Christ Alone” helps me remember… the battle is already won.
No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
Till He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand
So, what are the steps to overcoming this type of fear, and resuming an obedient life? It seems to me that we have several biblical examples.
First, we have Elijah who was so terrified that he became paralyzed by his fear. He was sure that He was the only one left who truly worshipped the Lord. First, the Lord allowed him time. Time to rest and restore himself a bit. Then Elijah poured his heart out to the Lord, and the Lord spoke to him. Then, He sent gave Elijah some things to do, one of which was to go to a like-minded person (Elisha) and reassured him that he wasn’t alone, that there were many more who still hadn’t succumbed to the worship of Baal.
We also have Peter who faltered in fear on the night of Christ’s trial. Instead of allowing that failure to define him, he became stronger in his faith and was a bold witness for Christ for the remainder of his life.
There was Moses who was scared, but became a great leader. Gideon went from a scared little man hiding in a wine press to a mighty warrior with the help of God. Ananias obeyed God, even when He sent him to meet a well-known persecutor of Christians.The woman with the issue of blood approached Christ even when she knew she was putting herself at risk.
Every one of these biblical heroes came to the same realization: Only God could help them.
They recognized their own weaknesses. Psalm 73:26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
They realized that only God could help. 2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
They put their complete and total trust in God Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
They surrendered to His lead, Romans 12:1-2 1. I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. 2.Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Perhaps the greatest gift I’ve given myself over the past couple of years is grace. My heart’s desire is to serve my Lord with every ounce of my being, but when I falter and succumb to fear, I go to my Father with the issue and spend time with Him. He knows my heart, and is perfect in HIs love for me, even when I don’t always love myself. I feel the nudge of the Holy Spirit to be true to the work He has for me in this life, as small as it may be. He has something for each one of us, and if we want to live the abundant life He has for us, we have to surrender to His will. This is the truth of Phillipians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. It doesn’t mean we can do whatever we want… it means we can do whatever He calls us to, be it suffering or abounding. God is good, Beloved! Trust Him and get busy living the life He has for you.
